The Boy I Loved in Secret Became My Pastor—And I Was the Only One Who Knew His Secret: Episode 5

The Boy I Loved in Secret Became My Pastor—And I Was the Only One Who Knew His Secret: Episode 5

EPISODE 5 — “His Eyes Found Me”

I didn’t want to go to church the next Sunday.

I stood in front of the mirror, holding my scarf, then dropping it. Picking it up again. My heart felt heavier than usual.

What if he made that recommendation official?

What if Pastor Tunde announced my name for some youth leadership position?

What if Toch… Pastor Toch, I mean… called me into his office to “talk”?

I hadn’t seen him face-to-face since the service he was introduced. He didn’t look my way, didn’t approach me, didn’t even flinch when I walked past him during the closing hymn.

But somehow, I knew he saw me.

I could feel it in my bones.

And yet, he acted like I was invisible.

I ended up going to church late. I slipped into the last row near the exit, pretending to scroll through my Bible app while my heart kept skipping. The sermon had already started. His voice filled the speakers.

“Sometimes the people we hurt the most are the ones we were sent to love…”

I froze.

What did he just say?

I looked up. He was on stage, pacing slowly. Preaching. Preaching with power. Quoting scriptures. Breaking down Proverbs 27:6 — Faithful are the wounds of a friend…

But every time his eyes scanned the crowd, I ducked a little.

Until he looked directly at me.

Just for one second. Maybe even less.

But I knew it.

His eyes found me.

He didn’t flinch. He didn’t pause. He just continued, like nothing happened.

I couldn’t hear the rest of the sermon. My ears were ringing.

As soon as church closed, I made for the door.

I was almost out when I heard my name.

“Nelo.”

I turned slowly.

It was him.

Same voice. Same posture. Same eyes. But now wearing a white kaftan and holding a Bible instead of my hand.

I couldn’t speak.

He stepped closer.

“I didn’t get a chance to speak with you last Sunday. You disappeared.”

Disappeared? Really?

“I was busy,” I said flatly.

He nodded. “Of course.”

There was an awkward silence. The kind that feels like someone pressed pause on time itself.

“How are you?” he asked.

I wanted to scream. To cry. To ask why he left without a word. Why he never reached out. Why now?

But all I said was: “I’m fine.”

Another silence.

Then, just before he turned to leave, he added:

“I told Pastor Tunde that you’re very reliable when he mentioned recommending you as the new youth coordinator. God still wants to use you, Nelo. Don’t run from it.”

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t.

I stood there, watching him walk away again.

But this time, I wasn’t seventeen. And I wasn’t the girl blindly believing promises whispered in the dark.

I was a woman now.

And I was holding a truth that could destroy everything.

To be continued…