The Boy I Loved in Secret Became My Pastor—And I Was the Only One Who Knew His Secret: Episode 1

The Boy I Loved in Secret Became My Pastor—And I Was the Only One Who Knew His Secret: Episode 1

EPISODE 1 — “The One I Let Go”

I still remember the first day I saw him.

Not the Sunday he walked into Cornerstone Fire Ministries as our new Resident pastor…

No. I mean the real first time.
The day my seventeen-year-old heart skipped a beat just from watching him lift his hands in worship.

It was seven years ago.

I had just gained admission into the university and was still attending the church I grew up in—Dominion Fire Assembly. That was the church that raised me, trained me, disciplined me. I could almost find my way around it blindfolded.

He was the youth leader then. Final-year student. Confident. Calm. Full of fire.

His name was Tochukwu Nwafor, but everyone called him Brother Toch.

He wasn’t the shouting, jumping type. But there was something about him. The way he looked when he prayed. Like he knew who he was talking to. Like God was listening to only him.

Maybe that was what caught my attention.

Or maybe it was that he noticed me.

He would walk up to me after midweek services and say,
“You have a strong spirit. Don’t joke with it.”
Then he’d walk away before I could ask what he meant.

We never dated openly. That church didn’t tolerate such. Even if you liked someone, you kept it coded or risk facing open rebuke. But we had our ways. The secret calls. Midnight chats. Him walking me halfway home after Bible Study. That one time he stood under the rain just to give me a book he thought I’d like…

We built something quiet. Real.
We talked about the future. He told me he prayed, and I was the one.
He said God told him.

I believed him.
With all my heart.

Then, just like that, he left.

He graduated, went for NYSC, and didn’t say goodbye. No call. No message. Nothing.

One day I was smiling because of him… and the next, I was crying into my pillow like someone died.

Maybe something did die.
My trust. My joy. My ability to believe any guy again.

Years passed.
I left Dominion. I needed a fresh start.
I joined Cornerstone Fire Ministries during my service year and stayed. I found healing there, or at least I thought I did.

Until last month.

Our branch pastor was transferred to the Abuja headquarters, and the announcement was made.

“By divine instruction, our new Resident Pastor will be joining us next Sunday. He’s young, anointed, and full of fire.”

I wasn’t really paying attention… until they said his name.

“Please prepare to receive Pastor Tochukwu Nwafor…”

Everything inside me froze.

People clapped. Some shouted. I just sat there. Silent.
I hadn’t heard that name in seven years.

And now… he’s coming here?

The same boy who once held my hands and whispered, “This thing we share, it’s deeper than emotions…”?

The same one who vanished — and took a part of me with him?

But that wasn’t the part that shook me most.

The real madness is that I’m the only one who knows his secret.

A secret he told me on a rainy Sunday, the kind that could ruin everything if it ever got out.

Now, he’s back. Standing on the same altar I serve on.
Preaching with the same lips that once told me I was his answered prayer.

And as I looked at his face from the third row, one question ran through my heart like thunder:

Why is he back… and why now?

To be continued…